posted by flipette
I keep losing my Pride.
I had it when my partner kissed me for the first time
And when my parents hugged her when they met.
But then I couldn’t find it.
I might have lost it amidst the staring at the ice cream shop
When I couldn’t decide between a sundae or a milkshake
Between judgements on my skin or my relationship.
I had it when we danced in the middle of the street
The paper-mache head of Harper just ahead of us.
But I lost it somewhere between riot police and illegal detainments
Between fear and uncontrollable anger.
I swear I had it when I packed my bag
Ear plugs, water bottle, bandana, Pride.
But then they searched me
And I couldn’t find it anymore.
I had it when I marched from Nathan Phillips Square to Queen’s Park
Queer women marching side by side chanting, singing, dancing
We walked in the sweltering heat of the summer
But I knew my Pride wouldn’t melt.
It’s stronger than that.
And I had it the night we danced.
With hip hop and dancehall blasting from speakers
Musical reminders of my teenage years
Sexy queers, dancing all up on each other.
I had it on the way to the march
Until we passed by the group waving flags of Israel
And Islamophobic signs
It reminds me of the way that my sexuality is used
As a barometer for progress
And I’ve lost my Pride again.
Then I remember places that don’t celebrate with parades
But accept love and sex in the various ways it manifests.
No doubt, they will seem backward, ignorant, enemies of queers.
While our nation is complicit in the war that indiscriminately murders people, including those we want to “liberate”.
So I sit, reading anti-capitalist, Palestine solidarity, free speech signs
And I find that Pride again.
That Pride steeped in politics.
That Pride that wants to queer the government.
Even more, the one that wants to fuck the government.
With thigh high boots
Flogger in one hand
Dildo in the other.