Tag Archives: love

one for my mother

posted by jroselkim

My mother is always prepared for everything.
She would peel countless cloves of garlic
while watching her evening television
so she wouldn’t waste any time
idling around, even when she’s idle.

Setting a straightforward path
with simple steps, she says.

A perfect housewife,
she was bred in a women’s university.
One that produced headstrong women
writing the country’s prominent feminist manifestoes like
Women, Become Terrorists!
(before 9/11, of course.)

But she
thought the feminists on campus were
“too much,”
and did what she was told –
study English literature,
a “useful subject” for gaining employment in Korea.

And gain, she did –
as one of the few women who obtained a
prestigious position at a foreign bank,
working past her marriage –
working past having her daughter.

In her complacency to follow the rules
she went further than she was supposed to;
and in her unknowing progression
she was ostracized –

by her colleagues,
(a nanny for her daughter?)
by her equally headstrong sisters-in-law
(how can she run her household?).

So she resented them,
resented them for being resented
for following the path too well –

Perhaps, if this were a Hollywood narrative
there may be dramatized struggle,
but then some kind of a happy fanfare –
a closing of an arc.

But real life keeps going.
She quit her job and learned how to cook,
learned to keep her resentment in check
and learned to
“worship the husband and the in-laws like Gods”
like she was told
all the while being skeptical of what she was told.

My mother is still wary of the feminists –
calls them too strong-headed,
too judgmental.
She just followed the rules.

But somewhere along following the strict rules
she broke some of them,
and
made a rule-breaking feminist out of me.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

boyfriend vs. blackberry #2

posted by missmsian

More observations …

Dependability
BlackBerry: BBM is spazzing, camera can’t zoom and Google Maps turns itself on sporadically, sucking data usage.

Boyfriend: Slightly better.

Sense of humour
BlackBerry: Joke Of The Day emails.

1,000,000,000+ humour sites.

Twitter.

Boyfriend: Live.

Boyfriend 2, BlackBerry 0.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

proud

posted by flipette

I keep losing my Pride.
I had it when my partner kissed me for the first time
And when my parents hugged her when they met.
But then I couldn’t find it.
I might have lost it amidst the staring at the ice cream shop
When I couldn’t decide between a sundae or a milkshake
Between judgements on my skin or my relationship.

I had it when we danced in the middle of the street
The paper-mache head of Harper just ahead of us.
But I lost it somewhere between riot police and illegal detainments
Between fear and uncontrollable anger.
I swear I had it when I packed my bag
Ear plugs, water bottle, bandana, Pride.
But then they searched me
And I couldn’t find it anymore.

I had it when I marched from Nathan Phillips Square to Queen’s Park
Queer women marching side by side chanting, singing, dancing
We walked in the sweltering heat of the summer
But I knew my Pride wouldn’t melt.
It’s stronger than that.

And I had it the night we danced.
With hip hop and dancehall blasting from speakers
Musical reminders of my teenage years
Sexy queers, dancing all up on each other.

I had it on the way to the march
Until we passed by the group waving flags of Israel
And Islamophobic signs
It reminds me of the way that my sexuality is used
As a barometer for progress
And I’ve lost my Pride again.

Then I remember places that don’t celebrate with parades
But accept love and sex in the various ways it manifests.
No doubt, they will seem backward, ignorant, enemies of queers.
While our nation is complicit in the war that indiscriminately murders people, including those we want to “liberate”.
So I sit, reading anti-capitalist, Palestine solidarity, free speech signs
And I find that Pride again.
That Pride steeped in politics.
That Pride that wants to queer the government.
Even more, the one that wants to fuck the government.
With thigh high boots
Flogger in one hand
Dildo in the other.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

boyfriend vs. blackberry

posted by missmsian

I met Smalls a few months ago at a Fido store. It was love at first sight. He showed up at my house a few days later (May 14, to be precise). We’ve been together ever since.

Smalls is my phone. I named him after Biggie.

I’m starting to think he should be my boyfriend …

Saturday night plans
Boyfriend: “Call me.”

Call.

He’s sleeping.

BlackBerry:

Boyfriend 0, BlackBerry 1.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

do azns like to date their own kind?

posted by missmsian

The other day, a boy told me, “wa suka le.” “Suka” is Malay for “like.” “Wa” and “le” mean “I” and “you” in Hokkien, a Chinese dialect. I’m Malaysian-Chinese.

I think I fell in love.

I grew up convinced I could only find true love with a non-Azn. How’s that for internalized racism?

In the past two years, I’ve started seeing Azn guys in a new light.  A really hot one. My mum says it’s because I’m getting to an age where I’m thinking of long-term commitment (okaaaay, I’m not that old) and, at the end of the day, people like to settle down with their “own kind”.

Hmmm … really? (Opens can of worms) Thoughts on this?

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized